Father-in-law kicked to the curb.

Who needs a Mediator?  We do.

Why would anyone possibly need a mediator when he/she can fix his own problem, asked my 16 year old son?  He continued to tell me how he would never seek help from a mediator if he was ever in a bind.  Loving words from a son to a mother, who happens to make a living as a mediator.  His words gave me something to think about. I would think of ways to explain to him, how he would miss out on an excellent tool. 

If you live with a teenager in the home you may run into opposition with any suggestion or recommendation you make.  My son’s refusal to mediate may simply come from rebellion.  One thing I would make sure of, his refusal to mediate would not be from a lack of understanding of the mediation process. 

How many people today refuse to mediate because they do not believe mediation/arbitration will be of any use?  In this case mediation could have helped this family—George had just turned 65.  He applied for Medicare and waited several months before hearing back. Meanwhile George’s two adult sons were picking up the tab on his medical expenses, and their wives were becoming resentful about the money leaving their household. Neither of them had ever heard of Medicare parts C through N, additional coverage which could take some of the burden off his sons. One day a family friend mentioned the extra coverage to George. George reluctant to say anything kept quiet. He didn’t want to be more of a burden on his sons. When his Medicare kicked in and all his medical expenses were not covered, his sons continued to pay the difference and eventually their wives left.  With resentment building for their failed marriages, a big blow out ultimately ensued, and all communication between George and his sons ceased.

What’s wrong with this picture?  Many things right off the bat.  But the most obvious is the lack of communication between all parties.  With everyone afraid to hurt the other, they all chose to keep quiet.  Had anyone suggested mediation to address the family dynamics, all of the unspoken issues would have surfaced in a non-threatening manner. George would have had his extra coverage, his sons would still be married, they’d have more money in their pockets, and the relationship between George and his sons would be strong.

 For more information on Mediation or Medicare coverage visit www.millermediators.com or drop us a line at 201-266-6592.  Rebecca Miller Pringle is a court registered mediator and arbitrator, while her husband David assists those with their insurance needs.